When Online Harm Follows Your Child To School

Schools may respond to online harm

Online harm does not always stay where it started.

A message sent at night, a post shared over the weekend, or a video uploaded away from school can still follow young people into the classroom, playground, group chats, friendships and learning.

For parents and caregivers, this can sometimes feel confusing. If something happened after school, on a personal phone, in a private chat, or away from school grounds, you might wonder why the school is involved at all.

Under the Education and Training Act 2020, a school may need to respond when online behaviour affects students or staff, disrupts learning, impacts safety or wellbeing, or carries over into the school environment.

Online harm can travel quickly

A young person might receive a hurtful message in the evening, then arrive at school the next day anxious, upset, or afraid of seeing the person who sent it.

A private image might be shared outside school hours, but then talked about in class, passed around in group chats, or used to embarrass someone during the school day.

A threat, rumour, fake account or screenshot might begin online, but create tension between students who still have to sit beside each other, learn together, play sport together, catch the same bus, or move through the same school spaces.

School involvement does not always mean punishment

When a school responds to an online harm incident, parents may worry that this means someone is automatically “in trouble”.

Sometimes a school may need to use its behaviour or disciplinary processes, especially if there are threats, harassment, bullying, sharing of intimate content, or repeated harm.

But a school response can also include:

• Checking that people are safe
• Supporting students who were harmed
• Stopping content from spreading further
• Speaking with the students involved
• Contacting parents, caregivers or whānau
• Helping students return to learning
• Recording what has happened
• Seeking advice from Netsafe, Police or another agency

A student who was harmed needs support and protection. A student who caused harm, joined in, or helped content spread may need boundaries, learning, repair and accountability.

Both are still students. Both need adults to respond safely and fairly.

How young people may be involved

Online harm involving young people can take many forms.

It may include:

• Threats or intimidation
• Bullying or harassment
• Repeated unwanted contact
• Sharing private information
• False allegations
• Impersonation
• Intimate images shared without consent
• Fake intimate images or deepfakes
• Humiliating or degrading content
• Violent, sexual or distressing content
• Encouraging someone to self-harm
• Using online spaces to organise fights or offline harm
• Targeting someone because of their identity, background, disability, sexuality, religion or other personal characteristics

Online incidents can involve a wider group than the person who first created the content and the person directly harmed by it.

They may also need support if they were targeted, pressured, threatened, humiliated, excluded, impersonated or exposed to harmful content.

How harmful content is understood in New Zealand

In New Zealand, the Harmful Digital Communications Act 2015, often called the HDCA, helps guide how harmful online content is understood.

The HDCA is about harm caused by digital communications. A digital communication can include texts, messages, posts, comments, images, videos, recordings or other material shared electronically. Under the HDCA, “harm” means serious emotional distress.

This matters because not every upsetting, unkind or inappropriate post will meet the threshold for harmful digital communication. Context matters.

When thinking about whether content involving a young person may be harmful, people may need to consider:

• What was posted, sent or shared
• Who it was about
• Whether the young person was named, shown or identifiable
• Whether it was threatening, humiliating, sexual, intimidating or targeted
• Whether private or sensitive information was disclosed
• Whether it was repeated or widely shared
• Whether others were encouraged to join in
• The age and circumstances of the young person affected
• The impact on their wellbeing, safety, friendships, attendance or learning

The question is not just, “Was this online?” or “Was this mean?”

It is also:

Who was affected, how serious was it, how far did it spread, and what harm has it caused or is it likely to cause?

Other rules and laws may also matter

The HDCA is not the only framework that may apply.

Depending on what has happened, online behaviour may also breach:

• School expectations
• Platform rules
• Privacy law
• Harassment law
• Defamation law
• Laws about objectionable or illegal content
• Other criminal laws

You do not need to work out the legal pathway yourself.

In many situations, the safest first step is to work with the school and ask for advice if you are unsure. Netsafe can help people understand their options under the HDCA and provide support when online harm has happened. Contact the Netsafe helpline for free and confidential advice.

Context can change the seriousness

The same piece of content may need to be understood differently depending on the situation.

• A joke between close friends may be different from a public post designed to shame someone
• A single unkind comment may be different from repeated messages
• A screenshot shared privately with a trusted adult for help may be different from the same screenshot being passed around a year group

For parents and caregivers, it can help to slow down before deciding something is “just drama” or, at the other extreme, assuming every online conflict is a legal issue.

Let the school manage the response

You may be tempted to message other parents, ask for screenshots, contact another young person directly, check group chats, or gather proof before speaking to the school.

Trying to get proof can sometimes spread harm further, especially if the content is intimate, sexual, violent, exploitative, self-harm-related, highly distressing or possibly illegal.

Asking other people to send content to you can also increase the number of people who have seen it, saved it or passed it on.

Instead, support your young person to be honest about what happened and what they know. Record digital evidence and then let the school manage the response.

Working with the school

The school may need to speak with students separately, check safety, involve whānau, preserve fairness, and decide whether other agencies should be contacted.

The school may not be able to share every detail straight away, especially if several students are involved, but this does not mean nothing is happening.

But the school can still play an important role in supporting students, reducing further harm and helping everyone understand what needs to happen next.